9 Months!

In the rush of Christmas we also have another thing to celebrate, G is 9 months old!

This is such a fun age, and I looked forward to this time of year since the moment I knew I was pregnant. It has not disappointed.
G is full of spunk, a little stubborn at times, entertaining and the joy of my life. I never could have imagined it would be THIS fun.

She has had a lot of growth over the past month. She is now crawling, pulling herself up to standing and has also started working on standing on her own. She is cutting her top teeth, the first cut through a few days ago and the 2nd shouldn't be too far behind. (There may even be some more coming in up there!)

G is a tall skinny girl. At her Well Visit yesterday her weight was in the 20th percentile, while her height was in the 95th.

I am so looking forward to her first Christmas, tomorrow! I can barely contain myself!!

 

Christmas Past

I never really thought there would be a day that a Mariah Carey Christmas song provoked a deep & meaningful revelation, on my part. But…last week…it did.

There were a  few years ago (2005 & 2006 to be exact) that all the lonely Christmas songs were my anthem. See, those were the years Tyson & I were in a long distance relationship. He was in Cali doing the navy thing, I was in NY…working 50+ hours a week at Picture People. (ahhh the Christmas rush!) I missed him something terrible in November & December. I love getting ready for Christmas, and those 2 years the prep was filled with doubt. We often wouldn’t find out if Tyson would be granted leave until a couple weeks before Christmas. (And even then we didn’t know if he’d be granted leave the weeks of Christmas & New Years, or the two weeks before/after.) Of course once he was granted leave, the mad rush was on to get plane tickets.

Those were the days that I just missed being around him. I missed his face. The two weeks we would get in December & November would be all the time we would get, until, we didn’t know when. (In January of 2007 he deployed.) When I sit back & think about it, I was so lonely then. Nothing really to what I now would call ‘lonely’.

Flash forward to 2010. One of those lonely Christmas songs, which was my theme song, came on the radio and I finally listened to the words for the first time since 2006. All those emotions I had 4 years ago came flooding back to me. My heart ached, like it did at nights as I would fall asleep. I was on the verge of tears remembering those years. It was such relief to realize where we are today. Together, preparing for our baby’s first Christmas. We might not make the money we’d like, have our own house or even be able to spend our evenings together…but we have come a very long way.

It must be that I forget how it really felt. Those days I would promise myself to never forget where we came from, and how hard those first 2 years were. I still haven’t forgotten. Though nights now while he’s working and I’m sleeping, I miss him. I remind myself, I get to see him in the morning, get a kiss & hug and a short conversation as we cross paths. I get to spend time with him on the weekend and share the same bed with him. Heck, I share the same time zone with him. Things may not be ideal now, but they are markedly improved.

Very Grateful This Week

I am forgoing the list of what I’m grateful for this week. I have something else on my mind.

Tonight I rocked G for a few extra minutes after she fell asleep. I soaked in every second of having her there in my arms. I’m grateful that I have little opportunities to snuggle my baby and tuck the images back in my mind.

When she was a newborn I spent too much time worrying. Mostly I worried over if she’d never sleep through the night. Heck, worrying that she’d never sleep anywhere but in my arms. That I would never again have any time to get anything done.

Tonight I sat in that rocking chair, thinking about how 8 months ago I was sitting in that same chair with a teeny baby wishing she’d let me put her down. And now I struggle to hold her for more than 30 seconds without her WANTING to get down. (Unless she’s asleep! Ah ha!)

I know, all too soon, she will be too big for me to wrap my arms around her & rock in that chair while she sleeps. Too big to let me kiss her forehead after we read a bedtime book. Too big for me to even be involved in her bedtime routine at all.

I am grateful for a happy, healthy, bouncy, beautiful baby girl. I am grateful for the memories that I’ll always be able to hold on to, even when I can’t hold on to her.

Extra Dollar

I have a confession to make. A few weeks ago I was at a big box store doing some Christmas shopping. I was in a rush, on my lunch break and on a budget. (I have been using cash to ensure I don’t over spend, but I also needed to make sure to keep $5 to get a joint gift for my boss for his birthday.)

I paid for my purchases and headed to my car. It was there I realized that the cashier had given me one too many dollars. Here comes my dilemma: I was sitting in the parking lot, hadn’t even started my car I could have easily walked back in, handed it to customer service and gone on my merry way. After all that was the RIGHT thing to do.

But….

I was getting close to the end of my break, and if I returned the dollar, I would be one dollar short for my allotted $5, and the gift was being purchased that night after work. No time for me to acquire another $1.

So I turned on my car, and left. (I know, I know…hide the children…I’m a monster.)

In reality, the big box store would not miss $1. The cashier would not get in trouble for $1 (when I was a retail manager, we often would be missing much more than $1 and no one ever got in trouble).

I felt guilt ridden as I drove to work, and gave the $5 to my co-worker. That’s when I told myself I would donate money the next time I saw a red kettle, or was asked if I’d like to donate a dollar to toys for tots. Or SOMETHING. I would do something.

Of course, the next time I saw a red kettle all I had was a $20. As much as I’d love to have dropped that bill in there, I didn’t budget it in. Not that I couldn’t afford it, just not that paycheck.

Just adding on to that guilt I already felt. I had images of starving children, lonely dogs shivering in a SPCA cage, empty shelves in a food pantry. I GET IT ALREADY!

So in the past week I’ve thrown in some change at the same red kettle I had previously jilted $20. We’ve had a united way campaign going on at work for a month or so, with different ways to donate. This month they’re doing ornaments to dedicate to a family member who’s passed away. So I bought a $2 ornament for Tyson’s dad. (I honestly don’t know how his family would feel about that, but I thought it was important. I didn’t know his dad how everyone else does, but I still feel a grief for the father in law I’ll never know and the grandfather my daughter will never have. But that’s another post for another time.)

The basic jist I’m getting at is it feels GOOD to give. I actually look forward to the next little red kettle I see. I think after Christmas I will try to budget in being able to give more often. People need all throughout the year, not just December.

Do you donate or volunteer?

When you need a reminder…

There are many reasons I enjoy my job. 

But in the grand scheme of things, I long to be rid of this job and home being a mommy. 

It helps every now & then to remind myself that I do like it here. To know that God is doing good work through me for the time I am here. It just takes hanging up the phone after talking to a lonely elderly patient for 5 minutes, to know that. I brought a smile to their face, a break in their monotony; that’s enough work for one day. Everything doesn’t need to be so complicated.

This week it was also easy to realize how fun it is here…

Wednesday was a pizza party for a birthday

Today was a pizza party for getting 91% customer satisfaction

Next Wednesday will be a breakfast/brunch Christmas party

I often lament & wish I were in elementary school, everything resulted in party then. Sometimes I forget I have that now.

Holiday Traditions: Part II

The past week or so has been tedious, to say the least.

With the constantly driving in snow covered roads, a daughter that won’t consistently stay asleep, the jumble of list in my head for the holidays (How DOES Santa keep his lists straight??) and stress at work, I have been an emotional wreck. To the point of, while falling asleep last night, I considered taking a pregnancy test the next morning just to make sure. But after G letting me get 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep, I miraculously felt much more with it – and very much not with child.

My point to all of the rambling nonsense was I’ve been busy…and I literally called Uncle last night on the drive home. (Audibly, ask my daughter who was in the back seat and the unnecessarily-slow moving truck in front of me whom I directed it towards….) Getting to this blog has totally not been a priority. Then today at it work it dawned on me: I had promised a post of our Christmas traditions…..how better to get my mental lists organized than to make them tangible lists, while posting it on my blog! Ta da!

So here we are. Now that everyone is on the same page, lets get rollin’

Baking Cookies

This will be the 3^rd year my mom & I have made Christmas cookies. We decided to start doing it as gifts for friends & family instead of gifts. (And who doesn’t love cookies??) My mom & I are planners, so this extends much beyond just the day of baking. There’s the deciding on which recipes to choose, what to package them in, when to make them, etc. The first year we were way too ambitious, choosing too many recipes. What can I say, we like cookies. At the end of that shenanigan we had promised each other to limit how many recipes we did the next year. And we did. Kind of. My mom likes to add recipes as the day approaches. I also wasn’t much help last year, being pregnant & swollen & having to wash the dough of my hands every 20 minutes to pee.

This year I’ve arranged for a daddy/daughter day for G…and we DID limit our recipes. We’re also working on something a little different this year. Though I might actually gain a reader, which would bring me to a total of 1. And it would be my luck that the 1 reader is someone receiving the new ‘thing’…so you’ll have to wait & hear about it later.

Hopefully in coming Christmases this can become a 3 generation tradition with G joining us. I have visions of little aprons dancing in my head.

Making Candles

For a few years I made candles with a family member. It was always a lot of fun deciding on colors & scents (picking scents that really did not “GO” with the colors was always my favorite). It was also a great way to recycle the stubs of other candles used throughout the year, as we’d melt those down to make into new candles. But due to circumstances beyond my control, that won’t be happening anymore. My sister & I had talked about taking up the tradition, but it didn’t happen this year. Two mom’s, with two little ones, one busy being a mommy, and making jewelry & being in a show and the other busy with a demanding change at work…and well there you have it. No candles this year. Maybe we’ll get a jump on next year, and make them in January!

Christmas Eve

For as long as I was growing up, Christmas Eve meant church service @ 7:00 and egg nog by the fire once we got home. Then it was off to bed to me, as I wondered what the adults did downstairs while they waited for Santa. As I got older…I was often one of the last ones to bed, and Christmas Eve lost its magic.

However this year it’s been completely revived, as a new tradition is starting in our household. Christmas Eve morning one of Santa’s elves will leave a new pair of pajamas and a new Christmas book , for G, to be used for Christmas Eve night. I am most excited about this. J

Which of course will be followed by Christmas Eve service, egg nog by the fire and if I can convince all other adults – a screening of Polar Express on the giant HD screen. (No matter how many times I watch that movie it makes me cry - it stills reminds me that Christmas can be magically, even without the magic!)

Christmas Day

The actual activities of Christmas day have morphed over the years, as I assume it does in all families; as everyone grows up, moves out and starts their own families with their own traditions. So right now our Christmas day is actually kind of looking for its identity, which I’m sure will flourish as we have older kiddies to enjoy the day with. Though there is always that orange in the toe of the stocking to look forward to. (Other than the year there must have been cold weather in FL, as Santa left random fruit in the toe of our stockings. Tyson’s smelled like a banana for a few days after that!)

The most important tradition of this entire month is time spent with family. I look forward to every get together, every moment that is different from the status quo of all other 11 months of the year. I love my family, and I love spending time with them. Laughing. Eating good food. Sharing stories & talking. Eating good food. Gift giving. Eating good food. Did I leave anything out? Oh yeah, eating good food.

What types of traditions does your family have?

Grateful for the Dull & Boring

This week I am struggling to come up with what I’m grateful for.

Not that I’m lacking for things, just that they all seem sort of dull & boring. It’s an okay to think to be grateful for dull & boring things, right?

For starters, I’m grateful for automatic draft saves…because though I did type up what I was thankful for last week, I forgot to post it. It sat there waiting for me.

….Also for a successful trip to the Christmas tree farm this weekend, and being able to decorate the house & tree. G’s first experience with Christmas makes everything seem so much more fun & meaningful this year.

…and on that same note, for having a young body or else that wipe out in the tree farm parking lot could have been much more disastrous.

…for a husband who tries to let me get as much sleep as possible on the work nights he’s home, even if G refuses to be comforted by anyone but me in the wee hours

…and also for a daughter who decides that after one rough night’s sleep, she’ll give a reprieve and sleep for 11 hours.

And because I just thought of one more thing….

….Radio stations that play all Christmas music, and being able to share an office with a boss who also likes to have Christmas music on 24/7 this time of year

Full of Gratefulness

This week I am truly grateful for:

…My husband returning, safely, from a trip back home, and relaxed

…A fun Saturday with my mom, Grandma & G, hanging out around the house, going to a craft bazaar and just relaxing

…SNOW! It may be cumbersome to drive in. But it’s so pretty and really makes it much easier to get in the Christmas spirit. I am one of those annoying people who loves every single season, for one reason or another.

….Being able to stay home and have a Mommy & baby day with G today. Tuesday’s are my mom’s day to watch G, and she is not feeling well at all. And G seemed to be running a slight fever. I just didn’t have the heart to bundle her up, drive through the mess on the roads and send her off to the sitter for the day. So I stayed home. J

…A job that allows me to get *some* work done from home. Not 8 hours worth, but a few hours to make me feel less guilty and not necessary for me to use an ENTIRE day off from my Time Off bank.

Holiday Traditions: Part 1

Apparently becoming a mother as not only instilled in me a more sensitive ear, crazy thought reading abilities & finding the use of my mouth to hold & open things to be about as useful as an additional appendage….but I have been completely overwhelmed with the necessity to start “family holiday traditions”. Move over nesting, you never even came close to this.

I have been blessed to have come from a family that loved to celebrate. Every holiday is a celebration, a chance to see famiy, eat good food and just to purely enjoy what God has graced us with. Resulting in my necessary 3 month long celebration; when Halloween, Thanksgiving & Christmas all seem to jumble together.

I also came from a “broken” family. Though I really dislike the term “broken” because we’re all crazy, you can’t fix us, we don't want you to fix us and if anyone tried it would cost an exorbitant amount of cash...to be paid to us. But because of this I celebrated many holidays at least twice. Which really only adds fuel to this fire, because I’ve got lots of places to pull traditions from.

The one thing I enjoy about creating holiday traditions for my own family, is I can keep the traditions I know & love, forget all about the ones I really didn’t care for and implement some of my own! I also enjoy the opportunity to coordinate with my husband. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve asked him about HIS family traditions and any he’d like to implement in our family. Parenthood, in general, is a cooperative team sport….but for some reason to bring two sets of traditions together makes it feel even MORE like we are joining two families. If there are two things I love it’s holidays & family. (And who’s kidding who, all the food too!)

For Thanksgiving I put out some card stock and pens, crayons & markers. I also printed out some blank leaves which I cut out and put with the supplies. I traced G’s hand print and made a hand-print turkey; in the middle of which I put the things she’s thankful for. (Being that she’s 8 months old, I took a wild guess with 'Mommy, Daddy, Puffs & Milk')

Then adults were asked to write what they were thankful for on the leaves, and the children had a choice of making their own hand-print turkey or using a leaf.

As the day progressed not only did everyone get into writing what they were thankful for & decorating their leaves & turkeys…my aunt & I decided it would be fun to let people read them aloud. So we randomly put the leaves or turkeys down in front of plates around the table. (Or not so randomly in some cases, we thought it would be all too funny for my uncle to read about being hopeful of getting along with future college roommates) And as we started to pass food around the table we all took turns reading what others were thankful for. Much to my surprise, everyone seemed to be “into” it and enjoyed it. Hopefully this is something that we will continue to do.

It was my original intention to just trace G’s handprint & write in the things she's thankful for, every year. (And of course do the same for any subsequent children's hand prints) Then some how make some decorative chain/garland with them. But since as of right now, I only have one hand print, I don’t have to completely finish this thought process yet. However, after seeing how much everyone seemed to enjoy the leaves & turkeys, I may find a way to include those. Ten years from now it'd be nice to look back to see who was around for Thanksgiving that year, and what they were thankful for. So for now, I'll just hold onto the pieces until I have another jolt of creativity. 

Stayed tuned for a Part 2 where I share current Christmas traditions and what my plans for new traditions. 

Truly Grateful Tuesdays!!!

Has it really been almost a week since I last posted?
Time flies, especially when I had a long weekend to enjoy with my family....

So here is what I've grateful for this week:

.....4 AMAZING days off with my husband & daughter. I have not spent 4 days in a row, without having to work, with G since my maternity leave ended. It was pure bliss.

.....Black Friday shopping with my mom, Grandma, Aunt & G...without a major argument. It was actually enjoyable!!

.....My husband who keeps going to a job that he really does not like, to provide for his family. He sees the missed time as not being there for his family, when I see the exact opposite. He's doing what he has to right now. Like all things in life, this too shall pass.

.....Teething Bling!!

Without which making this post (and catching up on old posts) would not have been possible!