Hurry Up and...GO GO GO!!

Just a taste of our last 48 hours.

Wednesday Morning - Tyson's boss lets him go, because his boss is just the type of person who lets go a hard-working employee

Wednesday during my lunch break - Tyson & I sign the lease for our new apartment, hoping we can find a way to make ends meet while he's unemployed. Our move in date is set for Sept 10.

Wednesday afternoon - My boss's boss informs me that my working from home for our 8 months away might not be approved if I'm not willing to work full-time. But we also decide we all have plenty of time until we have to make decisions. (Famous. Last. Words.)

Wednesday night - On my knees, sobbing, I asked God to please help the military proceed with the next steps for Tyson's class to start in November. And to please guide me in how to handle what will happen with my employment. And He said to me "Just trust me".

Thursday morning - Tyson gets a phone call asking him that if all his paperwork is approved, would he be willing to start his class SEPTEMBER 12TH instead of the November 28th date we've been talking about.

Thursday at NOON - All paperwork is approved, and it's a go. Orders will be cut, probably, on Monday.

Thursday at 12:30 - Inform my boss that we no longer have the luxury of time on our side. In return, he informs me that he's already made it clear to his boss that if they don't let me work from home, regardless of how many hours I put in, our department will be.........well a very bad word is what he used, but you get the point.

Thursday at 12:58 - I work on taking deep breaths & stop trying to figure out the why, when, where, what & how. This is exciting!!! Of course it's the military and things could change again...but YAY!!

Pride

Patriotism is easy to come by on national holidays, but other days of the years it may not be as natural. Especially given that I don't seem to know one person who isn't disenchanted with the government in one aspect or another. Sometimes with those feelings it's easy to lose site of what a wonderfuly place we live.

Because of the number of family members we have that serve or have served in the military, I am always proud of the men & women who step up and serve this country. From those who made the ultimate sacrifice, to those who prepare food on naval vessels, they're all important!

The road that we live on is a state highway, and a few years ago was officially named The Vietnam Veterans Memorial Highway of Valor. For 3 years in a row there has been a motorcylce tribute ride for Vietnam Vets.
It a simple thing, but we all really enjoying watching as they ride by. There's really no way of knowing when the bikes will come through. This is a 98 mile ride, and we're about 20-30 miles from their final destination. We worked outside all afternoon waiting for the bikes to go by. (Porch chairs at the ready.)

Our porch was still decorated with red, white & blue from the recent holiday. A friend of the family lost his brother in Vietnam, so my mom & I made a poster board with his name and company information and displayed it along with some small flags stuck in the yard.

This is the first year they were accompanied by planes.

I almost missed them, I thought it was a helicopter flying over head - as that's a sound that we hear more often than you think.

I had just happened to plunk G in her pool right before they arrived, so there was no removing her to get a better look (or better angle for pictures).

She enjoyed waving to them.Occasionally one of the women on the backseats would see her & wave back.

This year the ride brought me to tears. You could see people looking towards the signs we'd made and then they'd honk their horns & wave. All of the bikes had small flags on them, a couple bikes had large flags on them. One rider wore a flag shirt! (Even a pick-up truck or 2 went by with large flags, POW MIA flags and a wheelchair in the bed.)
It seems silly to cry over a motorcyle ride. But it's more than that. Many of these men are veterans themselves, and I'm sure they all left a buddy or 2 over there. Some of these people may have known someone who served, or just felt compeled enough to pay tribute to all those who did.

We may all feel a little less than thrilled with those in our capital, but what makes this country truly amazing is the people that choose to fight for it, and the people who live in it.

Someday, when Tyson & I have another motorcyle, it's a goal of mine to join this tribute ride.
And drive past the porch we used to enjoy watching from.

Dream Interpretation

Sometimes dreams need no interpretation. They are obvious in their meaning. Or just really good representations as to what thoughts consume your mind during the day.

For example, my dream last night:

Ron Weasley (or perhaps Rupert Grint, it was not quite clear in my dream) joined the local Air National Guard unit. And I was somehow with him, every step of the way. Annoyed at his apparent lackadaisical approach to this complete life upheaval.

Yup. That about sums it up.

I Don't Fit In

It's no secret that being in the military means uncertainty, jumping through hoops and perfecting the art of hurry up & wait. I knew all of this. However, my previous experience with it was very hands off. I felt very detached.
When Tyson was in the Navy I felt as if I didn't fit in anywhere. I wasn't a wife. I was a girlfriend or a fiance'. If something had ever happened to him, his mother would have gotten the news...not me. Not only was I just a fiance', I didn't even live in the same time zone, let alone get real exposure to military life.

I was able to visit his base in California twice. But lets be honest, I only got to see him every 3-4 months...I certainly was not focused on my surroundings while I was there.

Here we are at Round 2. I'm re-learning the uncertainty, the hoops, the hurrying & waiting. But this time it's different. I'm a wife. And a mom.
I realized the other day that I classify myself as a military wife. Look to the left of the screen and you'll even see that's the first thing I mention in my profile. I can tell you, it's not intentional, it is not to make myself sound special. I am proud of our military, I am proud of my family's history with the military. I, myself, would never have the guts to do it myself...so to say my husband is involved gives ME great pride. But to be part of this group is so overwhelming. There are so many other women out there who give SO MUCH MORE than me. I often feel ashamed of myself to even consider classifying myself with these wives who keep house, work & raise their children while their husbands are in harms way for 15 months.
I really feel like I don't fit in.

Do you ever have moments where you can link an ongoing feeling to an exact moment in time. While I was cooping with Tyson's very first time being on the ship, I found a navy SO message board. I never felt more like I didn't belong than I did on this board. Because I wasn't a wife. And now I'm a wife and I have no one else to belong WITH.

Tyson's national guard - not full-time active duty. And he's not just any national guard, he's air national guard. Do you know how many blogs & message boards there are for air national guard wives? None. At least that I've found.

I am desperate to make the most of this. To walk into this move with high spirits and only a handful of butterflies in my stomach. But I cannot shake the feeling that every single person on that base in Mississippi will think that I don't belong there. I have fears that everytime I flash my ID to get onto base, to go home, that they'll see right through me. (What I'm so afraid they'll find I'm not sure of...) Right now I have plans to NEVER leave base without Tyson, so I don't have to face security on my own. (Rational thinking, and a genius plan...don't you think??)

We still have no date, or even know what month this will all begin. There are always more invisible hoops that appear only after you've cleared the previous hoops and think you're beginning to see your destination. I have more time for this all to settle in. But I still can't shake that 'first lunch period, on the first day of high school and I don't know which table to sit at' feeling.

In case anyone was wondering WHERE this post came from. I got my military ID today. I'm officially a military wife. And the picture isn't half bad either.

Introducing Senior Airman Wally

I suppose I've let the suspension hang in the air long enough.

On Friday Tyson took the oath to join the Air National Guard. Stationed right here, with the 174th Fighter Wing. He's currently joining to do weather. Of all things. My husband the weather man. I LOL everytime I say that.

Doing weather includes 8 months of school in Mississippi and 3 1/2 in Jacksonville. Luckily, G & I will be able to go with him to MS. FL, not so much. We're still working on that little hiccup. I would like to somehow go to FL with him, but that would be out of our pocket. So we still need to weigh the pros & cons, and probably will not be able to make a final decision on that until the time is upon us.
We still don't know WHEN classes will start for Tyson. Still some more red tape to go through before he can officially be given his orders. We're hoping for a Fall start.

There are so many things this means to our family. But first & foremost, I am so entirely proud of my husband. I practically light up when I get to say my husband is serving our country again.
Being a military WIFE, is so different that being a military fiance who also lives on the other side of the country.

God has started to lead us down an amazing path, and I am truly grateful for any opportunites that he may lay before us. To think of where our family was 4 months ago...everything felt like a struggle; even to just have a normal conversation between husband & wife was difficult and usually left me in tears. But the work HE has done in that short time, simply A-MAZING! (Oh how I wish I had opened that door a long time ago!)

Christmas Past

I never really thought there would be a day that a Mariah Carey Christmas song provoked a deep & meaningful revelation, on my part. But…last week…it did.

There were a  few years ago (2005 & 2006 to be exact) that all the lonely Christmas songs were my anthem. See, those were the years Tyson & I were in a long distance relationship. He was in Cali doing the navy thing, I was in NY…working 50+ hours a week at Picture People. (ahhh the Christmas rush!) I missed him something terrible in November & December. I love getting ready for Christmas, and those 2 years the prep was filled with doubt. We often wouldn’t find out if Tyson would be granted leave until a couple weeks before Christmas. (And even then we didn’t know if he’d be granted leave the weeks of Christmas & New Years, or the two weeks before/after.) Of course once he was granted leave, the mad rush was on to get plane tickets.

Those were the days that I just missed being around him. I missed his face. The two weeks we would get in December & November would be all the time we would get, until, we didn’t know when. (In January of 2007 he deployed.) When I sit back & think about it, I was so lonely then. Nothing really to what I now would call ‘lonely’.

Flash forward to 2010. One of those lonely Christmas songs, which was my theme song, came on the radio and I finally listened to the words for the first time since 2006. All those emotions I had 4 years ago came flooding back to me. My heart ached, like it did at nights as I would fall asleep. I was on the verge of tears remembering those years. It was such relief to realize where we are today. Together, preparing for our baby’s first Christmas. We might not make the money we’d like, have our own house or even be able to spend our evenings together…but we have come a very long way.

It must be that I forget how it really felt. Those days I would promise myself to never forget where we came from, and how hard those first 2 years were. I still haven’t forgotten. Though nights now while he’s working and I’m sleeping, I miss him. I remind myself, I get to see him in the morning, get a kiss & hug and a short conversation as we cross paths. I get to spend time with him on the weekend and share the same bed with him. Heck, I share the same time zone with him. Things may not be ideal now, but they are markedly improved.

Trick-or-Treat For the Troops

I heard about a great idea today, and it made me wish we’d be trick or treating this weekend. (The idea of doing so with a 7 month old sounds not only pointless, but exhausting!)

So instead I share this with you all, in hopes that someone will do it for me.  Instead of eating ALLLL that candy you’ll accrue this weekend (or have left over), consider sending some to our troops deployed overseas.

When Tyson was in the navy he gave me the advice to send lots of snacks in his care packages, because when someone got a package it was a big deal & they would all share the snacks that arrived. So I imagine that some candy could go a long way. (Though not sure how the chocolate candy would fair, it takes about a month for packages to arrive and well….it’s hot in the desert…or out on the ships in the gulf.)

Operation Gratitude puts the care packages together themselves, and they’re accepting Halloween candy donations. So all you need to do is drop it in the mail and let them do all the work.

Or you can add a little more “stuff” with your candy and create your own care package using anysoldier.com (which has links for the other branches also). I didn’t have much time to browse the site, but you’re able to search for troops based on branch, the state they're stationed in, etc. You get to choose who to send the packages and it’ll list what they need. Pretty cool.

I’m glad I came across these ideas before the holidays, I’d like to put a box together and get it out pretty soon. My heart aches when I think about these troops spending holidays away from families. Tyson & I never had to spend a Christmas apart, luckily, but I do remember that Thanksgiving & other holidays were difficult. I can only imagine what it feels like to wake up Christmas morning and know you’re missing this time with your family. If I can take an hour or so & $20 out of my life to brighten a solider (or sailor, marine, or coastie)’s day…why the heck not.

I encourage you all the do the same.