G's Fourth of July Weekend - In Pictures

I know, that was 2+ weeks ago. Better late than never, right??

...Mom, please don't take a picture of me in this silly hat!

I’m too sentimental for my own good

I usually am not a fan of New Year’s Eve. I prefer to sleep through it. When we rang in 2010, both Tyson & I fell asleep watching a movie and woke up around 12:20. I almost slept through the beginning of 2011 also, but woke up around 11 or so.

I am very sentimental and I almost always cry when that darn ball drops. I cry because a year was tough and look forward to new begins, or the exact opposite when a year was great and am sad to see it go. (Which will also brew up worried feelings of the next year falling short of high expectations.)

The past two New Years have been perfect examples of that. I wanted 2009 to drag out. I was excited & happy to be expecting, but was NOT ready for 2010. I knew that as soon as it was 2010 March would be here too soon and the idea of becoming a parent was daunting. Now fast forward a year later, and I did not want 2010 to end. This was the year my beautiful daughter came into my life. I will never again get to experience the first year of being a new mom, with my new baby. 2010 is G’s year. She’ll identify with that year for her entire life. That the year was ending, and a new one beginning was extremily difficult for me to accept this year. This year I really dragged my feet into 2011.

But now that I’ve had some time to let all those childish, irrational feelings settle down…I’m excited for 2011. Parenthood is such an adventure and it doesn’t matter what year it is. My baby is still a baby, we still have 2 ½ months until she’s 1. And this year could present so much more to our lives. Hopefully a new house to call our own & maybe a career change for Tyson; Something more fulfilling role for him I am excited to see my daughter grow and see what memories I’ll have when I look back and think of 2011.

And I promise, when 2012 is knocking at our door I will try to be more excepting.

Christmas Past

I never really thought there would be a day that a Mariah Carey Christmas song provoked a deep & meaningful revelation, on my part. But…last week…it did.

There were a  few years ago (2005 & 2006 to be exact) that all the lonely Christmas songs were my anthem. See, those were the years Tyson & I were in a long distance relationship. He was in Cali doing the navy thing, I was in NY…working 50+ hours a week at Picture People. (ahhh the Christmas rush!) I missed him something terrible in November & December. I love getting ready for Christmas, and those 2 years the prep was filled with doubt. We often wouldn’t find out if Tyson would be granted leave until a couple weeks before Christmas. (And even then we didn’t know if he’d be granted leave the weeks of Christmas & New Years, or the two weeks before/after.) Of course once he was granted leave, the mad rush was on to get plane tickets.

Those were the days that I just missed being around him. I missed his face. The two weeks we would get in December & November would be all the time we would get, until, we didn’t know when. (In January of 2007 he deployed.) When I sit back & think about it, I was so lonely then. Nothing really to what I now would call ‘lonely’.

Flash forward to 2010. One of those lonely Christmas songs, which was my theme song, came on the radio and I finally listened to the words for the first time since 2006. All those emotions I had 4 years ago came flooding back to me. My heart ached, like it did at nights as I would fall asleep. I was on the verge of tears remembering those years. It was such relief to realize where we are today. Together, preparing for our baby’s first Christmas. We might not make the money we’d like, have our own house or even be able to spend our evenings together…but we have come a very long way.

It must be that I forget how it really felt. Those days I would promise myself to never forget where we came from, and how hard those first 2 years were. I still haven’t forgotten. Though nights now while he’s working and I’m sleeping, I miss him. I remind myself, I get to see him in the morning, get a kiss & hug and a short conversation as we cross paths. I get to spend time with him on the weekend and share the same bed with him. Heck, I share the same time zone with him. Things may not be ideal now, but they are markedly improved.

Extra Dollar

I have a confession to make. A few weeks ago I was at a big box store doing some Christmas shopping. I was in a rush, on my lunch break and on a budget. (I have been using cash to ensure I don’t over spend, but I also needed to make sure to keep $5 to get a joint gift for my boss for his birthday.)

I paid for my purchases and headed to my car. It was there I realized that the cashier had given me one too many dollars. Here comes my dilemma: I was sitting in the parking lot, hadn’t even started my car I could have easily walked back in, handed it to customer service and gone on my merry way. After all that was the RIGHT thing to do.

But….

I was getting close to the end of my break, and if I returned the dollar, I would be one dollar short for my allotted $5, and the gift was being purchased that night after work. No time for me to acquire another $1.

So I turned on my car, and left. (I know, I know…hide the children…I’m a monster.)

In reality, the big box store would not miss $1. The cashier would not get in trouble for $1 (when I was a retail manager, we often would be missing much more than $1 and no one ever got in trouble).

I felt guilt ridden as I drove to work, and gave the $5 to my co-worker. That’s when I told myself I would donate money the next time I saw a red kettle, or was asked if I’d like to donate a dollar to toys for tots. Or SOMETHING. I would do something.

Of course, the next time I saw a red kettle all I had was a $20. As much as I’d love to have dropped that bill in there, I didn’t budget it in. Not that I couldn’t afford it, just not that paycheck.

Just adding on to that guilt I already felt. I had images of starving children, lonely dogs shivering in a SPCA cage, empty shelves in a food pantry. I GET IT ALREADY!

So in the past week I’ve thrown in some change at the same red kettle I had previously jilted $20. We’ve had a united way campaign going on at work for a month or so, with different ways to donate. This month they’re doing ornaments to dedicate to a family member who’s passed away. So I bought a $2 ornament for Tyson’s dad. (I honestly don’t know how his family would feel about that, but I thought it was important. I didn’t know his dad how everyone else does, but I still feel a grief for the father in law I’ll never know and the grandfather my daughter will never have. But that’s another post for another time.)

The basic jist I’m getting at is it feels GOOD to give. I actually look forward to the next little red kettle I see. I think after Christmas I will try to budget in being able to give more often. People need all throughout the year, not just December.

Do you donate or volunteer?

Holiday Traditions: Part II

The past week or so has been tedious, to say the least.

With the constantly driving in snow covered roads, a daughter that won’t consistently stay asleep, the jumble of list in my head for the holidays (How DOES Santa keep his lists straight??) and stress at work, I have been an emotional wreck. To the point of, while falling asleep last night, I considered taking a pregnancy test the next morning just to make sure. But after G letting me get 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep, I miraculously felt much more with it – and very much not with child.

My point to all of the rambling nonsense was I’ve been busy…and I literally called Uncle last night on the drive home. (Audibly, ask my daughter who was in the back seat and the unnecessarily-slow moving truck in front of me whom I directed it towards….) Getting to this blog has totally not been a priority. Then today at it work it dawned on me: I had promised a post of our Christmas traditions…..how better to get my mental lists organized than to make them tangible lists, while posting it on my blog! Ta da!

So here we are. Now that everyone is on the same page, lets get rollin’

Baking Cookies

This will be the 3^rd year my mom & I have made Christmas cookies. We decided to start doing it as gifts for friends & family instead of gifts. (And who doesn’t love cookies??) My mom & I are planners, so this extends much beyond just the day of baking. There’s the deciding on which recipes to choose, what to package them in, when to make them, etc. The first year we were way too ambitious, choosing too many recipes. What can I say, we like cookies. At the end of that shenanigan we had promised each other to limit how many recipes we did the next year. And we did. Kind of. My mom likes to add recipes as the day approaches. I also wasn’t much help last year, being pregnant & swollen & having to wash the dough of my hands every 20 minutes to pee.

This year I’ve arranged for a daddy/daughter day for G…and we DID limit our recipes. We’re also working on something a little different this year. Though I might actually gain a reader, which would bring me to a total of 1. And it would be my luck that the 1 reader is someone receiving the new ‘thing’…so you’ll have to wait & hear about it later.

Hopefully in coming Christmases this can become a 3 generation tradition with G joining us. I have visions of little aprons dancing in my head.

Making Candles

For a few years I made candles with a family member. It was always a lot of fun deciding on colors & scents (picking scents that really did not “GO” with the colors was always my favorite). It was also a great way to recycle the stubs of other candles used throughout the year, as we’d melt those down to make into new candles. But due to circumstances beyond my control, that won’t be happening anymore. My sister & I had talked about taking up the tradition, but it didn’t happen this year. Two mom’s, with two little ones, one busy being a mommy, and making jewelry & being in a show and the other busy with a demanding change at work…and well there you have it. No candles this year. Maybe we’ll get a jump on next year, and make them in January!

Christmas Eve

For as long as I was growing up, Christmas Eve meant church service @ 7:00 and egg nog by the fire once we got home. Then it was off to bed to me, as I wondered what the adults did downstairs while they waited for Santa. As I got older…I was often one of the last ones to bed, and Christmas Eve lost its magic.

However this year it’s been completely revived, as a new tradition is starting in our household. Christmas Eve morning one of Santa’s elves will leave a new pair of pajamas and a new Christmas book , for G, to be used for Christmas Eve night. I am most excited about this. J

Which of course will be followed by Christmas Eve service, egg nog by the fire and if I can convince all other adults – a screening of Polar Express on the giant HD screen. (No matter how many times I watch that movie it makes me cry - it stills reminds me that Christmas can be magically, even without the magic!)

Christmas Day

The actual activities of Christmas day have morphed over the years, as I assume it does in all families; as everyone grows up, moves out and starts their own families with their own traditions. So right now our Christmas day is actually kind of looking for its identity, which I’m sure will flourish as we have older kiddies to enjoy the day with. Though there is always that orange in the toe of the stocking to look forward to. (Other than the year there must have been cold weather in FL, as Santa left random fruit in the toe of our stockings. Tyson’s smelled like a banana for a few days after that!)

The most important tradition of this entire month is time spent with family. I look forward to every get together, every moment that is different from the status quo of all other 11 months of the year. I love my family, and I love spending time with them. Laughing. Eating good food. Sharing stories & talking. Eating good food. Gift giving. Eating good food. Did I leave anything out? Oh yeah, eating good food.

What types of traditions does your family have?

Holiday Traditions: Part 1

Apparently becoming a mother as not only instilled in me a more sensitive ear, crazy thought reading abilities & finding the use of my mouth to hold & open things to be about as useful as an additional appendage….but I have been completely overwhelmed with the necessity to start “family holiday traditions”. Move over nesting, you never even came close to this.

I have been blessed to have come from a family that loved to celebrate. Every holiday is a celebration, a chance to see famiy, eat good food and just to purely enjoy what God has graced us with. Resulting in my necessary 3 month long celebration; when Halloween, Thanksgiving & Christmas all seem to jumble together.

I also came from a “broken” family. Though I really dislike the term “broken” because we’re all crazy, you can’t fix us, we don't want you to fix us and if anyone tried it would cost an exorbitant amount of cash...to be paid to us. But because of this I celebrated many holidays at least twice. Which really only adds fuel to this fire, because I’ve got lots of places to pull traditions from.

The one thing I enjoy about creating holiday traditions for my own family, is I can keep the traditions I know & love, forget all about the ones I really didn’t care for and implement some of my own! I also enjoy the opportunity to coordinate with my husband. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve asked him about HIS family traditions and any he’d like to implement in our family. Parenthood, in general, is a cooperative team sport….but for some reason to bring two sets of traditions together makes it feel even MORE like we are joining two families. If there are two things I love it’s holidays & family. (And who’s kidding who, all the food too!)

For Thanksgiving I put out some card stock and pens, crayons & markers. I also printed out some blank leaves which I cut out and put with the supplies. I traced G’s hand print and made a hand-print turkey; in the middle of which I put the things she’s thankful for. (Being that she’s 8 months old, I took a wild guess with 'Mommy, Daddy, Puffs & Milk')

Then adults were asked to write what they were thankful for on the leaves, and the children had a choice of making their own hand-print turkey or using a leaf.

As the day progressed not only did everyone get into writing what they were thankful for & decorating their leaves & turkeys…my aunt & I decided it would be fun to let people read them aloud. So we randomly put the leaves or turkeys down in front of plates around the table. (Or not so randomly in some cases, we thought it would be all too funny for my uncle to read about being hopeful of getting along with future college roommates) And as we started to pass food around the table we all took turns reading what others were thankful for. Much to my surprise, everyone seemed to be “into” it and enjoyed it. Hopefully this is something that we will continue to do.

It was my original intention to just trace G’s handprint & write in the things she's thankful for, every year. (And of course do the same for any subsequent children's hand prints) Then some how make some decorative chain/garland with them. But since as of right now, I only have one hand print, I don’t have to completely finish this thought process yet. However, after seeing how much everyone seemed to enjoy the leaves & turkeys, I may find a way to include those. Ten years from now it'd be nice to look back to see who was around for Thanksgiving that year, and what they were thankful for. So for now, I'll just hold onto the pieces until I have another jolt of creativity. 

Stayed tuned for a Part 2 where I share current Christmas traditions and what my plans for new traditions. 

Here's Your Christmas Card!

There will be no cute Christmas card this year. My usually smiley, photogenic daughter decided to note cooperate:

 
 



Which is just as well, cause I couldn't get the lighting to cooperate either

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Can you hear that....the faint jingle bell in the distance?

I absolutely love this time of year. Fall is my favorite season. Period. Then add in that it marks the start of the "holidays" (at least in my book). More importantly it also means the start of preparing for the holidays, which I find about as enjoyable, if not more so.
Tyson really dislikes how much I over-book & over-plan our lives, especially this time of year. But there's so much I want to do, that I can't help it. Fall brings apple picking, applefest, pumpking picking & carving pumpkings, decorating for Halloween, etc, etc, etc. And that's all before Tiff's annual Halloween Party.

Now that I have my daughter to share this with - it's even more exciting! Sure she doesn't have a clue as to what's *really* going on around her, but she loves being outside. She just excited to & happy to be outdoors, and maybe inside, a little bit, it makes me think she might be intersted in what we're doing. Maybe I'm a little delusional. So what?

Naturally this all means that I'm more excited for Thanksgiving & Christmas, also. I've been Christmas shopping for a couple months now, and anticipate being finished in November. Which means December will be that much less-stressful. I want to be able to enjoy G's first holiday season.

I'm so caught up in all the excitement of the coming weeks & months, that I'm even excited for opening day of hunting season. (Could it be that waking up to boxes of donuts on the kitchen table is skwing my feelings??) But like everything else, there's a presence of excitement in the air on opening day, and I've just started throwing that in with being part of the "holidays"

Oddly enough this is the first year that I don't really care so much about my birthday, which used to always be included amongst the "holidays". I remember last year everyone told me to enjoy my birthday because once I had a baby, my brithday wouldn't matter anymore. I automatically assumed that they were referring to how others would treat my birthday and it made me a little sad - I didn't once think it would change my opinion of the day. I'm looking forward to spending the day with my husband & daughter - and that's good enough for me. (Of course spending time with other family is always a plus too!). But I no longer view it as an additional holiday........Though I am getting giddy over the idea of Tyson treating me to Cheesecake Factory.

Pumpkin Picking & Carving

Today we took a trip to the Pumpkin Patch - and then later, after much convincing, Tyson & I carved them.


Looking for a pumpkin......

Tyson does the heavy lifting....

G posing with our finds....

Mama & G....she dressed herself I swear!!

Watch out, Tyson's got a knife....

Taking a break to snack on some puffs....

The final products....